My God is so amazing, even through the valleys, storms, and twisters of life. Three years ago I might not have been able to write that sentence. I remember during my grieving process feeling so numb to God. I was never really angry with Him. I never wanted to "curse GOD and die," but I was NUMB!
Webster's definition of NUMB is "unable to feel anything in a particular part of your body due to cold, injury, or ect. Unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocks you or upsets you." Being numb sucks!
I remember thinking, "I wish I could go to church and feel something, anything....happy, sad, mad just something."
I love to sing, and I started singing in church as a little girl. After postpartum psychosis, I would go to church, rock my beautiful infant and nothing. I could not sing. I lost my voice. My husband and my brother faithfully prayed for me through this time. One Sunday I watched my husband embrace my brother; they wept together at the alter. I felt nothing. After church was over we didn't talk about it.
Later that evening I was rocking my baby girl to sleep and I started to sing......
"Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong they are weak but He is strong.....Oh how He loves me, Oh how He loves you, Oh how He loves you and Me....Jesus loves the little children all the children of the world, red and yellow black and white they are precious in His sight Jesus loves the little children of the world."
She slept, peacefully. I laid her down in her crib and walked out of her room to find my husband in the living room in tears.
I imagine I looked at him a little dumb founded...through his tears He said, "Today when I prayed for you, your brother told me he really felt like you needed to sing again. We prayed you would sing...."
After my illness, I felt like I had lost my voice, I lost myself. I was NUMB!!
My God is so good. He keeps me singing and He continues to give back my voice. This new voice ROARS sometimes, but I am always reminded of my maker. I am made in HIS image and for that I am grateful!
Webster's definition of NUMB is "unable to feel anything in a particular part of your body due to cold, injury, or ect. Unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocks you or upsets you." Being numb sucks!
I remember thinking, "I wish I could go to church and feel something, anything....happy, sad, mad just something."
I love to sing, and I started singing in church as a little girl. After postpartum psychosis, I would go to church, rock my beautiful infant and nothing. I could not sing. I lost my voice. My husband and my brother faithfully prayed for me through this time. One Sunday I watched my husband embrace my brother; they wept together at the alter. I felt nothing. After church was over we didn't talk about it.
Later that evening I was rocking my baby girl to sleep and I started to sing......
"Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong they are weak but He is strong.....Oh how He loves me, Oh how He loves you, Oh how He loves you and Me....Jesus loves the little children all the children of the world, red and yellow black and white they are precious in His sight Jesus loves the little children of the world."
She slept, peacefully. I laid her down in her crib and walked out of her room to find my husband in the living room in tears.
I imagine I looked at him a little dumb founded...through his tears He said, "Today when I prayed for you, your brother told me he really felt like you needed to sing again. We prayed you would sing...."
After my illness, I felt like I had lost my voice, I lost myself. I was NUMB!!
My God is so good. He keeps me singing and He continues to give back my voice. This new voice ROARS sometimes, but I am always reminded of my maker. I am made in HIS image and for that I am grateful!
Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong....Yes Jesus love me, Yes Jesus loves me, Yes Jesus loves me THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.